Thursday, May 29, 2008

Democrats Grow Up and Look in the Mirror

Thursday is normally a different day than most for me. I have a normal standing appointment that requires a 45 minute I-95 drive. The drive is certainly worthy of a dissertation unto itself but we leave that for the future. What it does allow is an extended radio time to listen to both news and political pundits who tell you they are not like all the other political pundits. Alas, the latter is again a topic for further discussion.

Today, it was reported that the Democrat rules committee will be meeting Saturday to decide what to do with Florida and Michigan. I know you have an idea what you would like to do with Florida but it does make the map balanced. It is also clear that you have no idea why anyone cares about Michigan at least since they stopped producing a real auto and by "real auto" I mean one that holds together at least one month beyond the 60 months it takes to pay for it.

Well, for background ... way back before the first primary, in fact last summer, states began to think, unfortunately for all of us incorrectly, that the primary season would be over on the first Tuesday in February. Oh my Lord if they were only correct and the pain would stop. Well, man plans and God laughs. So, many states started to jockey for a front position and began moving their primaries up in the calendar. Both the Republican and Democratic National Committees, the door keepers, told the states ... okay you can all move your primaries because we do not know how to demonstrate leadership and of course we do not know how to plan but please let us run the country and you can move your primary as early as the first week in February. Do not cross the great divide into January. If you cross the magic line of January 31st there will be consequences.

First, why the "consequences". Well, everyone knows that you can not have a primary season that does not start with the great states of Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina. Those states for about the last 50 years have had the first three primaries. Now everyone knows how important those states are in the nation. Why right after there once in four years moment in the spot light, we forget that they exist literally. I mean except if there is a tornado in Iowa or a meat packing plant is raided for illegals who cares what goes on in Iowa? We do acknowledge that baby brothers do care about Iowa when it comes to college football season having been banished to Iowa for college but then who cares? We also know that winning in Iowa brought us Jimmy "The Dumb" Carter ... so enough said about Iowa ... who cares.

Well, it is a simple rule. A very clear rule. Not hard to understand. You can have your primary whenever you want because we are a nation of limited rules. All you have to do is not have it before February 1st. Is that a hard date to remember?

Well, Florida and Michigan decided independently that they were above the rules. Yes, we are too good to have to abide by any silly rules. I mean California moved its primary from June to Super February Tuesday but we are certainly better than California. California has mudslides, droughts, fires, and an old Disney Land. All Florida has is hurricanes, droughts but we have Disney World which is so much cooler. So, again it is clear Florida should not have to be like other states. Remember 2000, we couldn't ( I wasn't here ) even vote like other states, we needed the Supreme Court to decide how we voted.

So, the Republican state legislature decided to thumb its collective nose at the DNC ... act shocked Republicans trying to make Democrats look silly, I mean Republicans look silly particularly in Florida so they just want to let the Democrats into the "silly" party ... and by collective nose that may be what the state looks like to some of you ... a collective nose ... and therefore move the primary to January 29th. The DNC said fine ... nobody campaigns there ... vote don't count ... no delegates at the big party in August. Simple? Florida has months to changes it mind and says "Screw you DNC!" Candidates what do they do ... they say "DNC - Yes / Florida and Michigan - No". Hillary as the apparent front runner back then said repeatedly ... the DNC is right.

Fast forward.

Florida and Michigan's non-primary were just that non-events. Super Tuesday does not decide anything. To make matters funnier, if Florida and Michigan had left their primaries at their original dates, both of them would have really mattered.

The primary season ... oh the primary season, will it ever end? A compromise is offered to Florida and Michigan. Have a do-over, take a mulligan, try it one more time and it will really have an impact.

Now, Floridians and Michiganders, do you want to be stuck with a guy with no plan, and by "no plan" I do not mean he that he doesn't have an idea, its just that he can not demonstrate by words, and he has so many nice words, or by prior action, cause he has no prior actions - and by no actions I mean he has never even convened his Senate sub committee that he chairs on "hope for someone somewhere", - how he can turn those "change words" into reality but he does have a lot of hope. Obama not to be upstaged by Hillary's rewriting history is now adding to his made up history with stories about relatives and concentration camps and how the people that helped him get elected in Illinois were only the simple people and by "simple" we mean real estate money people we need for access to state legislators.

The alternative is that we will be stuck with the "devil" woman and her insane husband - the definition of his insanity - he really thought we cared whether Monica went down on him in the Oval Office but lying about it, we really didn't care either only the Republican thought it was crime ... man getting head from woman ... that is a national crime to the Republicans and Bill arguing about the definition of "is", well insane and by the "devil" woman you know what I mean. She wants to you to think she is "just one of the lower working class downing shots of Chevis Regal" doesn't she know the shot of choice for the working class is Jack Daniels and so she is certainly not elite like Obama and his Harvard diploma, she only attended Wesleyan / Yale, as a former Arkansas attorney taking questionable payments can we say $100,000 one day stock market profits when you don't have any money while her hubby was running the state, was first lady for eight years dodging bullets, and by bullets I mean TV cameras as she spread goodwill around the world, kissing Mrs. Arafat while Mr. Arafat blasted Israel and the "devil" woman just nodding along while her translator whispered into her ear what was being said, while in a fit of rage fired the White House travel department because they couldn't get her an upgrade to fly on Air Force One ... seems the President had allocated the female companion ticket to someone else, and finally she will bring us health care reform ... she demonstrated how that should not be done ... her last attempt was so successful, she had a Democratic President, okay it was her insane husband but people liked him and she had a Democratic House and Senate ... her plan was DOA before it got out of the gate.

So, you can see Florida and Michigan now knew what there choice was. So, instead of a do-over or mulligan, the Democratic leadership in both states said "Screw You DNC". We are above the rules.

And Hillary, remember what she said? If you don't follow the rules then Florida and Michigan will have to take the consequences unless I am behind in May and the primaries where no one campaigned and I was the only one to leave my name on the ballot in Michigan should count because my husband was President and therefore everyone knows my name and I won the non-primary.

Meanwhile, radio stations and political pundits are fanning the fire by promoting the notion that the DNC and the other Democrats do not like Florida and Michigan. They are promoting the thought that if you do not seat our meaningless primary delegates we will be forced to either stay home or vote for McCain. Anyone wonder about the logic of the Democrats, radio stations or political pundits? Our primary vote because our state legislators broke the rules they knew in advance and did not take the opportunity to correct that arrogant mistake and respond "our vote did not count so we are going to take our precious vote and throw it away" ... can you say President Bush?

I am not saying you have to vote Democratic or that a vote for McCain is bad. But throw your November national vote away because your state legislators screwed you ... why not just throw out your state legislators. Remember don't vote in November and you will not have anything to complain or brag about ... you will be stuck.

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