Thursday, February 28, 2008

Congress Worries About Roger Clemens ... Why?

The sports world and all of its devotees need to be rounded up and placed in a holding tank. The holding tank can then be filled with a noxious fume.

Yes, all of you people ... and you know who you are ... who think that the worrying about your teams win loss record will have an impact on your life, how many points that special player scored is a critical issue because it will help you raising intelligent children and the defensive strategy of the latest addition to the coaching staff is certainly worthy of long hours of discussion. Sports Nuts need to understand that they belong in the grocery check-out line next to the overweight character reading the Star.

What is one result of all this sports craziness?

We are blessed with a Congress that decides to spend what little time that it allocates to working on the Country's issues to investigating whether or not baseball players have been taking performance enhancing drugs for the last ten plus years. Yes, it is national importance whether or not Roger Clemens let someone stick a needle in his butt. Will Congress take away his 7 Cy Young Awards? See when it was happening that this big white guy was throwing a baseball faster, harder and longer than anyone else everyone thought is was the natural evolution of the baseball gene pool program. Yes, all of a sudden because of improved training and hard practice guys are hitting ten to fifteen more home runs per year and pitchers are throwing the ball ten to fifteen more miles per hour.

And of course we want this issue to be partisan, Democrats think he is lying and Republicans don't care.

Now after decades of drugs being taken, all of sudden because the former Senator Mitchell has some time on his hands so he went out and investigated. Low and behold, those guys were taking drugs developed by DuPont and Dow and Pfizer ... approved by the FDA except for guys making multi million dollars a year. Who did the FDA think was going to take those drugs? Follow this up with a book deal for Senator Mitchell, better than his Senate pay ... a tell-all about who was poking who with needles.

David Stern not to be out done .... since we are over the referees betting on games they were officiating ... has come out against mandatory drub testing. He does not want to fall behind baseball and football.

Congress not to be left out calls these athletic drug users in to testify about whose butt was getting stuck. See, Congress has so much time on its hands. Congress has done such a wonderful job what with the economy and the world that they feel they can add some value to the discussion. Congressman do you know the difference between a vegan and a vegetarian?

Why does Congress think this is so important? Well, think back. Do you argue about and worry whether LeBaron is or will be better than Michael? Do you drink yourself silly because your a Knicks fan and life sucks? Do more of most of your sentences contain the phrase ... Da Bears? Are you still arguing about the need for your community to spend $500 Million Dollars to provide a new home for your "fill in the blank" team so they can be really competitive? Do you think the salary cap inhibits your team ... do you understand the math of the luxury tax which is imposed upon salary cap violations? Are you a sorry sad person person because year after year after year the Cubs disappoint you? Well for this last category we do feel your pain.

Not only do we have Congress wasting taxpayer dollars but Television and Radio will help you think that it is important. Next you will be saying its fine that they take drugs because they are nice guys. On the other hand, if they are movie stars or musicians ... well it goes with the territory and what if they die young ... just more fodder for People Magazine.

Can you quote batting averages? Is the first section of the paper you read the Sports Section? Are you paying extra so you can watch each and every football game regardless of where you live? Do you subscribe to the NBA station so you can stay up till 4:00 am watching every game that you taped? Are you having sports news streamed to your phone?

Teachers are underpaid but athletes ... even the so-so ones who are still good but at the bottom of the pro level still make hundreds of thousands of dollars and maybe millions . We are falling behind in math and science. Yet, colleges are spending millions for stadiums and athletic scholarships. Why do this? So they can have bragging rights to whose bigger and badder and number one. Anyone see the latest magazine listing for best schools? How good was the sports team did not figure into the calculation. I have heard from one or two sports enthusiast that having a number one football team will encourage those math and science majors to attend that college because everyone wants to be associated with #1 and therefore all that money will result in a better school. Sports logic at it finest. Babson College with no sports teams is rated in the top five Business Schools.

Basketball people will tell you with pride about the recent trade where to make things work out ... a retired player was given $4,000,000. The money to the retired player who will not play made the deal Kosher. Any problem with that? Another team is going to give money to an unpaid coach of rival team ... to make a trade work. David Stern where did you learn this math?

Sports nuts need to relegated to the position they deserve. Right next to individuals who are wondering whether Jennifer is going to get even with Angeline and how will Britney deal with her visitation issues.

Sports nuts ... we recognize that your life leads little to be proud of ... your inability to carry on a conversation about art, literature, and true issues facing our society. Why you might even talk to your kids about something besides how they are doing in gym.

Maybe you have it right. Bury yourself in trivia and when you want to come up for air ... well, you can worry about who will be the next American Idol or who is getting kicked off the island.

Please Protect Me

My head is about to explode ... quite literally. Now it is not because I have one of those many normal "tax season" headaches. No, this pounding sensation comes from just having spent forty minutes commuting to work and during that normally blissful time a watching cars crawl along the highway ... I did as I often do ... I turned to my radio for a view of the outside world. I will leave my regular listening habits to a future ramble but today as is normal for my morning commute I tuned into NPR, National Public Radio ... no not the National Palestinian Radio Station as some would call it. At least not today mostly.

What was unusual was the amount of nonsense. The world is a sorry place and for that I am saddened. Normally, I try to live in a very secure tightly controlled environment. I pride myself on not watching any news show. I do scan the three newspapers that show up on my doorstep six days a week but then I can always use them for wrapping presents or dead fish. I watch primarily the SciFi channel reruns of time tested programs. My real news comes from the Daily Show and the Colbert Report ... just like most people. I try to abstain from pop culture and do not care who Survives or who is the latest Idol.

So, Hillary is slowing falling from the stage. Yes, the polls are declaring it for sure maybe possibly this time. Texans have recently woken up to the fact that they maybe able to make amends from the blight they gave us in the current president. I person actually said that they were so happy to be able to participate in the historic event that would produce a Black presidential candidate. Yes, that would be historic for Texans. Yes, it is the year 2008 except in Texas. Not that I am in favor of this specific woman, Candidate Hillary but wouldn't anointing the first woman presidential candidate also be historic? Haven't the people of Texas watch 24? Jack Bauer has reported to two, count them two Black presidents. How many women have been portrayed as the President ... Geena Davis and she wasn't renewed. So of course America is ready for a non white male to be President. Please do not consider this an endorsement by any stretch of the imagination except for the program 24. As a side note, several of the people interviewed said without embarrassment, that it is the proper for the President to be a male and we know how well the most recent male from Texas has done.

Secretary of Defense Gates is in Turkey to tell that country they should remove their troops from Iraq because we have claimed it for our troops. Hasn't Turkey played Risk? Only one army can occupy a country at a time and since we have more troops we get to roll three dice while they only get two.

The Olympics are going to be canceled. Seems, the National Spokesman for the Games, 7 foot six inches Yao hurt his foot while making millions in America and will not be able to stand the smog of Beijing so he won't be able to attend. I guess once you give a big, tall Chinese guy American lifestyle its hard to get him back on the reservation.

Israel killed more people in Gaza. These were just people. We can not use the word terrorist when referring to specific people only when generalizing. How do we know that people were killed and how many of them and their ages and occupations? Well we ask the militant medical personnel in Gaza to report to the reporters the information which is unverifiable, normally inaccurate but worthy of being blasted around the world as fact. Oh, by the way one of those meaningless, inaccurate Gaza missiles murdered an Israeli student but that was only worthy of the 7th or 8th paragraph. By the way, if Gaza is so poor, how were they able to spend tens of millions of dollars in Egypt when the security fence was blown up? Where did that money come from? A final not for here, it was reported by not widely that Gaza has received more financial aid in the last two years then in the ten years before. At least two billion dollars per year has been given to the terrorist, missile shooting people. That is $2 Billion for 1.5 million people. Financial aid for Egypt by America is $3 Billion for 60 million people. So, why are they so poor? Maybe if they stop spending their days shooting missiles at school children they could actually do something productive.

And this was only the tip of iceberg of nonsense. Please protect me.

Thank you for letting me ramble on ... I did delete 8 paragraphs.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

I Apologize

Yes, I find myself in the unusual situation of having to apologize. Okay, I confess it is not so unusual. At this stage of my life, I can not count the number of times I have needed to apologize and the long list of people that I have apologized to. So, that being the case, I apologize one more time and certainly not the last time.

But you ask, what could be such an occasion that I would feel the need to apologize in writing on the Net for all the world or at least the three readers that I have to actually see and be able to refer to for all eternity? Well, if you must know ... I have been delayed in making additional journal entries in the illustrious journal of ramblings and for my rambling pleasure because of comments made by an influential prestigious critic. This particular person who shall be nameless, said ... that my pieces here on my Blog are too long and that I ramble! Well, this set me aback. I was dumbfounded. How could not all the dribble coming from my fingers not be of monumental importance? I found myself in a stupor, a daze, in a cloud of despair. This national Los Angeles critic, who she shall remain nameless, said I rambled!

Well, it took me some time to absorb these criticism because I am older and slower than many but then I remembered my preamble, my principles of this Blog and what it was intended for ... why I sought out this venue rather than to continue as in the past of trying to share all my thoughts verbally with world at Sabbath Table with my spouse giving me the evil eye ... I am an "Old Rambling Man" ... so Ms. Los Angeles Critic of National Fame ... I am who I am. So, there!

Now, look at all that I missed.

The fate of the New England Patriots. Alas, in this world of perfection being 18-1 is not good enough. Yes, they did loose the Super Bowl ... the only football game that matters ... there will be many many Super Bowl winners ... and the Miami Dolphins can still hold a proud head-up being the 16-0 Perfect Season Record Holders ... but when was the last time a team went 18-1? Hasn't happened. So, Tom Brady ... yes, your team lost another major game in the last two minutes ... yes, you will not be able to add a fourth Super Bowl ring to your collection ... yes, you lost to New York of all teams ... but 18-1 and all those records that will stand for many, many years ... Congratulations and there is always next year.

I missed Congress worrying about Roger Clemens' butt. I mean, the fate of the nation hinges on baseball jocks taking steroids to hit the ball farther ... pitch a faster pitch. We will loose the War on Terror if we allow these multi millionaire jocks to take drugs to entertain us at a higher level. Forget the sacrifice they are making. Putting their lives in danger. Putting their sex life in danger. They are doing it for us. In addition, Congressman Waxman ... does it matter whether poor Roger can understand the technical differences between being a vegetarian or a vegan? Your Congress at its finest. Democrats attacking a baseball player and Republicans defending his right to take illegal performance enhancing drugs to enrich himself and the already excessively rich owners. How dare the Democrats think he might have been wrong! Why didn't anyone ask the Drug Industry why they produce an illegal performance enhancing drug anyways? But for sure, we beg Congress to please continue on your diligent course to attend to these ever critical issues because while you are doing that the country can continue on its merry path being better off without your attention. Remember there are still "No Wheres" that a bridge to that place that can be funded. Maybe your next endeavor to investigate how womens clothes can be in size Zero?

And the I missed telling you my thoughts on the Writers Strike ... And the Golden Globe Awards presentation which showed no cleavage ... And the fact that there will be no 24 / Jack Bauer this season due to said Writers Strike and Jack being in real time jail ... And the fact the Presidential Campaign continues without any candidate telling how they would get Congress' mind off of Roger's butt and onto any of their proposals ...

But, if I were to go into all that I would be an Old Rambling Man ... so I have to cut this dribble short so as not to offend my Critic.