Friday, March 14, 2008


Recently, I was facing a pretty dilemma. It did not take long to realize that I needed more resources to handles this issue. Now, this situation needs to be put into perspective so it is understood before I call in the troops.

See, a pretty dilemma is not the ultimate crisis. Why? Well, see it is simple ... a pretty dilemma is not anywhere near as bad as an ugly dilemma. Call this a prejudiced view point but alas I am merely sorta human and certainly male so pretty wins over ugly. And as I am found of reminding anyone who will listen ... ugly is not a Federally protected class. So, this is not a Federal case.

So, here I am facing this pretty dilemma. It was sort of distracting being pretty and all. I knew that I could very be well be over my head which would not be the first or last time. My's response was how did I get into this mess. But I not to be distracted, so I looked around for assistance. I looked for you but you were not there ... how typical. I went into another room to see if you were there but all I found was myself. So, at the least I was not alone anymore because I had myself but I was not sure if that would be enough. I asked myself if there was anyone else that could be called upon.

The answer was clear and reasonably fast ... there was me and we ... and then of course he would stop by which would force us to want into the group. I asked myself how that conclusion could be so quickly arrived at? Well, it seems that he had already been texted. See "texted" is now a verb. When he showed up to throw support ... I found myself now with him and of course we just came along for the ride. So, it was not long before the group included us too. Now if only you were there.

Well he said that you would be there shortly because you never like to be left out of a party. We are going to have a party? I felt embarrassed because of this miscommunication. It seems that myself included along with him and you thought that was the reason we gathered the group.

So, the pretty dilemma had to be sidelined to make time for the party. I was worried because if the pretty dilemma was not attended to it could become ugly and then no one would be force to deal with it and no one does not do a good job when dealing with any kind of dilemma. But you thought it would be the appropriate thing to invite the pretty to the party cause there can never be enough pretty at a party and you are always partial to pretty.

I was confused and I knew there would be no help with that from myself ... you said that was state of mind also. Join the group.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Who Am I?

This is the political season. So many dumb things are said and the press with so much time on its hands must make bigger deals about those dumb things. They must try their hardest to turn those dumb statements that you would normally just ignore into meaningful issues. The reason, you ask, because otherwise why would you listen to them rant on and on ... like a rambling old man.

Well, the hot issue today. No not the former New York Governor has too much money and too much time and normal male needs. Today it is for a short time the statement made by the former 1984 vice presidential candidate. She was only important before most the talking heads could even vote. Seems this former nobody ... yes, had you heard from her before last week? Well, she made the obvious statement that were it not for one of the candidates skin color he would not be leading in the delegate and popular vote count.

There are two simple things here.

First, she is right. Yes, hard as it may seem to be accept she was right. If the Senator was not half black, he would not be who he is today. Hell, when Halley Barry cried receiving her Oscar would not have been a big deal if she were not half black ... just look at her and you can see she is only half black. Well, his life experiences would have been different. If his parents had not divorced and his mother remarried, he might not have lived his childhood in Indonesia. If he was not black, he probably would not have married Michelle, a black women. He may or may not have worked in Chicago's inner city. As, a non black man he might have not decided to run for the presidency. If he was not black, then ten months ago, black leaders would not have said ... that he is not black enough to be a "black" president. You know his black African father did not have the good fortune to be an American slave ... so how could he a black with no history of his grandparents being black American slaves understand what it was to be black in America? And you thought Jews saying other Jews were not Jewish enough was stupid ... well the Black national leaders wanted to show you that they could be just as stupid.

Yes, even you without your life experiences you would not be who you are. Yes, that means that if you were not left handed you might be a Republican and not a liberal Democrat.

Second, if Hillary had not married the smooth Slick Willie she might not be the close second in the presidential campaign. She would have been just another aggressive, double talking woman attorney. She probably would not have been offered an opportunity to make $100,000 in 48 hours from insider trading if her husband was not the Governor of the great state of Arkansas. If she had not married Slick Willie she might not have been allowed to bungle health care reform. Why she might not have been elected to the Senate, had her name not been Clinton.

But she is who she is and she did what she has done and so she is what she is ... as the Obama camp called her "a monster". Or as was pointed out in a national poll that 11% of the population says that the one word description that matches her rhymes with "rich". Why is that no big deal? Well, the black community is more vocal lobby than the monsters lobby.

So, we are all products of our history. We are who we are because of all that went into bringing us today.

Poor former New York Congresswoman, former candidate for vice presidency because she has ovaries Geraldine Ferraro, who suggested that much of Barack Obama's success is due to his race can now go back under her rock. See, she is a two time looser in runs for the Senate, a whopping three terms as a member of the House of Representatives which gives her less experience than Senator Obama, and married to a man who was almost indicted for financial fraud while she was helping Walter Mondale loose.

Who made this woman a paid spokesman for Fox News? Who would pay her to speak let alone listen to her? Aren't there enough qualified people to listen to rather than searching out people with nothing to offer? Maybe I should call Fox News and they can pay me to speak.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Sorry For the Excess Words

I apologize. My last piece was certainly long but necessary because of the nature of the problem being addressed. In addition, I needed to provided extra background due to your perceived lack of education on non sports matters.

And could some one make the bad lady go away ... poor Obama ... he was so confident that this crazy process would have been over with months ago ... that he forgot to start campaigning in Texas until three weeks before the primary ... had developed no infrastructure of campaign staff there and could not even return their phone calls. And then there is Hillary who was so confident that this would have been all over by now that she forgot to file a sl

Alas, the Hispanic vote went for the devil woman because on of the few words they know in English is Clinton. They thought they were voting for Bill. And women went for the woman because the media told you to vote for her now since she was about to be ushered off the stage.

The poor Democrats of Texas and Ohio, had to choose, to anoint the first black male or the first woman ... "no real national or international experience but I got hope to get us out of this dismal place we are in" or do we choose "I know the names of more foreign leaders, have had more meals with foreign dignitaries and I know where all of the bathrooms in the White House are so I can hit the ground running day one". Some choice.

Yes, they are both smarter than 98% of Americans but does that qualify? Two candidates comprised of smoke and mirrors ... I watched a dream growing up against I will certainly not fail on health care reform like I did last time with a Democratic Congress.

Why does anyone give them money to tell us our life sucks today and only they can make it better? Why does anyone report that they same the same drivel day in day out except for when they adjust the stump speech to accommodate local issues even when that modification is at odds with last week's add on paragraph. Yet, why not ask the question that truly means something ... what is yourplan to get Congress to actually do some meaningful work ... and pass your hopeful agenda which we can not afford.

More so than Obama and Hillary, protect us from Pelosi, Reid and Waxman.
There is so much chaos in the world and yet major stories are buried and given little attention. Well, this last week such an event occurred. This event could be the social / political error of our generation.

Back in the day, before many of you could read a world atlas, there was a country called Yugoslavia. Now before you run off to Wikapedia, this country was in Europe. So, to save you time I have done the research for you so we can get to the point which I know you would like me to do some day.

Yugoslavia was a country of southeast Europe bordering on the Adriatic Sea. It was formed in 1918 as the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes after the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Empire and was renamed Yugoslavia in 1929. Seems the concept back then was that if you had a number of groups who couldn't get along you solved the problem by making the all part of one country ... not unlike Iraq with its Shiites, Sunni and Kurds. Under the leadership of Marshal Tito the country became a Communist-led regime after World War II. No big deal it was all the rage back then to part of the big monolith of Communists ... they had all the cool slogans. After Tito's death in 1980, a collective presidency assumed power, but economic problems and ethnic tensions grew. Communist party control ended in 1990, and four of the six constituent republics (Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and Macedonia) declared independence in 1991. The two remaining republics, Serbia and Montenegro, formed a new country in April 1992

Very interesting but what does this have to do with anything that might be considered interesting or as advertised the political error of our generation? If you read the newspaper or watch The Daily Show or Stephen Colbert Report, you will know that Kosovo which is not on that list of parts did declare their independence and the U.S. recognized that new country resulting in the U.S. Embassy in Serbia being attacked because they didn't like us recognizing a break away group. Sorry, interesting but not the point ... just trying to keep you educated beyond the sports page.

The issue is that one of the original six decided that they want to become part of NATO. Nice, you say. Fill out the application form, submit three references and the $1,000,000 application fee and we will get to you sometime in the future.

Well, a clerk reading the application decided that there was a problem. No, it was not the check bouncing or that the application was written in doctor script. The application was very clear.

Seems, the application was from Macedonia. Now, what could be the problem. The name is not too hard to spell. The name is much less crazy than some of the countries coming out of the former U.S.S.R., look it up because I can not do all of your research.

Well, seems Greece was offended and people actually listened. Imagine that! Greece spoke up and people actually cared what they had to say. This must be the first time in 2,000 years. So, what was Greece's issue with Macedonia which has been a free standing country since 1991?

It now appears that the Greek leadership decided that this was the time to really make waves over this major issue. This issue which not only could keep Macedonia out of NATO but cause a major split in European politics. What's the problem? Do the people of Macedonia eat their salad before the meal as opposed to after the meal like most Europeans? No, that's not it. Do the people of Macedonia believe that Europe should follow the lead of the U.S. on all issues? Heck no. They clearly believe that Europe is the center of the world, just like France and Germany do.

Okay, I will get to it. Greece is blocking the country of Macedonia's entrance into NATO because there is an area within the legal borders of Greece which is also called .... believe it ... Macedonia. Seems back in 1991 when the people then living in the portion of the land that was breaking up for Yugoslavia had a contest and decided out of the blue to call their land ... Macedonia. Seems, as there are more and more countries in the world, all the good names are gone. So, for some silly reason they settled on a name of an area in Greece directly almost across the border. Of course, the fact that the area of the country of Macedonia has been referred to by that name for hundreds of years did not have any impact on the Greeks. The Greeks responded with "tuff tooties" ... yes they say that in Greece ... but then it sounds better in the actual Greece language and covered by oozing olive oil.

See, the Greek leadership believes that if they are forced to be allies with a country called Macedonia the people of Greece living in the area of Greece known as Macedonia might possibly get it into their heads that they should withdraw from Greece and join in with the people who like the same name that they do. Yes, if the country of Macedonia becomes a NATO member then the people living in Greece's subsection called Macedonia will suddenly become aware that there is such a country. This is clear since for last 17 years the people in Greece did not know there was a European country just over the hill that was call Macedonia.

So, how would Greece like the country of Macedonia to resolve this issue. Simple, just change their name so the people of Greece will not get any false notions into their heads. The example that they provide is New Mexico and the country of Mexico. See, is the territory within the United States should not be confused with the country of Mexico which is why they added the word "New" in front their name .. just like New York did so as not to be confused with York, England after which it was named. That is cool, except that all of the people of Mexico who think moving into New Mexico is just moving to the suburbs ... so the name adjustment does not seem to working there. Greece is also worried about this since they can not afford a security fence to keep their people in.

Enough ... the bottom line is that we are going to sponsor a contest to help Macedonia come up with a new name. The name can not be silly or foolish. The should convey the dignity of a fine people. It would be preferable for the name to actually mean something. Not unlike the name Yugoslavia which means a country composed of a bunch of little countries with nothing in common and whose real purpose is to eliminate the other sub countries within the country of Yugoslavia.

So, lets hear your suggestions so that the country formerly known as Macedonia can move its application forward. Then once they are in NATO they can do like Prince and change their name back and be Macedonia formerly known as X who was formerly known as Macedonia.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Defense Budget Crisis

There is a new scare in the world today. Well, maybe not today but according to the news sources which I take as the gospel, we have a new thing to fear.

What is that which sends shudders down a grown man's spine?

The Government has just completed its latest analysis ... hours, days, months and discovered a scary thing. This issue brings frear to the hearts of those whose job it is to keep America free from something or other. It seems that China's defense budget which is reported to be as much as $59Billion Dollars might in fact be as high as $180 Billion. This would make the Chinese defense budget the second highest defense budget in the world.

Of course, you say we are still number one with a bullet or a jet fighter but the Chinese. Remember they have 1.5 Billion people and we only have 300 million. A five to one ratio. Now add to that they have all of America's money sent to the by way of all of your purchases from Wal-Mart. Yes, you specifically.

So, what is the fear? The United States' defense budget is going to be over $700 Billion Dollars next year. So, they spend $180 and we spend $700. Almost four times more, we should be assured of our status as the world's maniac for a long time. Yet, we can never be far enough ahead. We can not afford to loose this important test of our country's manhood. We could be the so much more the laughing stock of all the other nations if we lost this important contest. How will we be able to look France, England and Russia in the face and maintain our self esteem? My lord if we lost the respect of France ... how would we ever pick our head up?

We need to focus our efforts and spend more on national defense whether we spend it wisely or not .... that is not the question ... we need to have the highest defense budget in the world. We need to lead. Actions speak louder that word. Dollars, even as they become worthless, speak louder than ... well I am not sure what currency they speak louder than but that doesn't matter we need to maintain the appearance of superiority. Remember image is everything and thirst is nothing. Especially when that thirst could be quenched by additional Federal aid. We must not shirk our duty to defense even while the poor, homeless and those about to loose their home to foreclosure might be in need. We can not shirk our duty to defense contractors ... they might not be able to eat prime rib and drink single malt scotch if we cut back. Those dollars spent to rebuild our bridges and infrastructure must be put on hold. Money for education ... well, how can you compare that to dollars for bullets and travel by Generals.

As one General said "we do not know the intentions of the Chinese when it comes to defense spending ... why they could invade a country and topple its government and bring chaos to a region ... who knows what a mad man could do with a huge defense budget and no control over his actions ... our defense budget must be number one to protect us from the crazies"

Write your Congressman or Congresslady to emphasis this critical need.