Understanding The CPA Client Relationship

I did not write the following, although I believe I could and might have if I had a web site and thought that if I put this publicly out there I would still get a client. But alas, I did not write this but its sentiments are not that far from the realm of my thought process to the extent I have a thought process. As some of my readers, well all of my five readers - wow my readership has increased ... the advertising is working out, can attest to I routinely engage mouth before engaging brain. The brain ages and needs more rest ... while the mouth is more in need of physical exercise. This is not an feeble attempt at being self deprecating rather an old man's acknowledgment that I speak when not spoken to, speak to people who do not care what I am saying, say things that really no one wants to hear and while others are speaking. This seems to be a problem for other people and the reason eludes me. In fact, well ... who really cares ...

Here then is how one CPA believes the client / Accountant relationship should work:

1. CLIENTS SHOULD PROJECT A FRIENDLY, POSITIVE ATTITUDE AT ALL TIMES.

Your tax advisor has chosen an extremely stressful and depressing profession filled with constant phone interruptions, changing tax rules, impossible dead lines and unending information requests from the IRS. He or she simply cannot cope with the prospect of your being depressed as well.

2. WHEN MEETING WITH YOUR TAX ADVISOR - DO NOT MAKE ANY SUDDEN OR UNEXPECTED MOVEMENTS.

Your tax advisor consumes life-threatening quantities of caffeine on a daily basis to meet the various due dates of federal and state taxing authorities. Sudden movements may lead to sensory overload and cardiac arrest. If you desire to reward your tax advisor for sacrificing his health in order to complete your tax return at 3AM on a Sunday, gifts of coffee (or in my case Mountain Dew) may be accepted in lieu of actual cash payment.

3. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR TAX ADVISOR TO BE SYMPATHETIC WITH YOUR PROBLEM.

Your tax advisor's ethical code of conduct requires him to be objective and independent. Clients often mistake this devout professionalism as the heartless inability to connect with fellow human beings at any level beyond their base financial desire to collect fees. This is simply an urban legend. Tax advisors have been known to acquire mates and in at least three cases on the west coast have even procreated.


4. DO NOT COMPLAIN IF YOUR TAX ADVISOR'S ADVICE LOSES YOU MONEY.

You must appreciate that tax regulations are mind-bendingly complex and an occasional unpleasant result is only to be expected. Clients do not think rationally during a time of financial loss. Now is not the time to assign blame for your financial calamity but rather to engage your tax advisor for additional tax and financial planning.

5. DO NOT ASK YOUR TAX ADVISOR TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE'S DOING OR WHY.

Unfortunately, the inherent complexity involved in tax regulations cannot be translated into any comprehensible form using the English language. Any attempt to force your tax advisor to explain his actions may lead to cardiac arrest (Please refer to item number 2 above – sensory overload). Endeavor to
develop a deep, abiding respect in your advisor’s abilities, confident in the knowledge that if his actions could be explained, you would agree whole heatedly.

6. EXPRESS FIENDISH ENTHUSIASM AT ANY NEW SERVICES OFFERED BY YOUR TAX ADVISOR.

Though the fees incurred may be substantial; enthusiastically accept all tax and financial planning services offered by your advisor. Aggressive Tax deferral and avoidance schemes are constantly coursing through your tax advisor’s caffeine enhanced brain.

7. PAY ALL YOUR TAX ADVISOR'S BILLS PROMPTLY AND WITHOUT QUESTION.

Consider it an honor and a privilege to contribute, however modestly, to the financial well-being of such a learned tax professional.

8. DO REFER NEW CLIENTS TO YOUR TAX ADVISOR.

Potential client referral sources may include parents, grand parents, children, brothers, sisters, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, former spouses, coworkers, neighbors, friends and anyone you may come in contact with in the normal course of your day. It is a common client misconception that adding to your already stressed tax advisors work load should be avoided. Tax advisors derive professional and personal validation through the additional fee collections.

9. IF YOUR RETURN IS SELECTED FOR AUDIT AND YOU ARE SUBSEQUENTLY JAILED FOR TAX FRAUD – DO NOT PUBLICLY IDENTIFY YOUR TAX ADVISOR.

This will only cause your tax advisor unnecessary, non-fee generating publicity.

It is my heart felt desire that the above suggestions will assist you in developing a deeper understanding of the CPA client relationship. If you have any questions or would like to discuss any of these points in greater detail, please feel free to contact me.

Its a tough life.