Congress Worries About Roger Clemens ... Why?

The sports world and all of its devotees need to be rounded up and placed in a holding tank. The holding tank can then be filled with a noxious fume.

Yes, all of you people ... and you know who you are ... who think that the worrying about your teams win loss record will have an impact on your life, how many points that special player scored is a critical issue because it will help you raising intelligent children and the defensive strategy of the latest addition to the coaching staff is certainly worthy of long hours of discussion. Sports Nuts need to understand that they belong in the grocery check-out line next to the overweight character reading the Star.

What is one result of all this sports craziness?

We are blessed with a Congress that decides to spend what little time that it allocates to working on the Country's issues to investigating whether or not baseball players have been taking performance enhancing drugs for the last ten plus years. Yes, it is national importance whether or not Roger Clemens let someone stick a needle in his butt. Will Congress take away his 7 Cy Young Awards? See when it was happening that this big white guy was throwing a baseball faster, harder and longer than anyone else everyone thought is was the natural evolution of the baseball gene pool program. Yes, all of a sudden because of improved training and hard practice guys are hitting ten to fifteen more home runs per year and pitchers are throwing the ball ten to fifteen more miles per hour.

And of course we want this issue to be partisan, Democrats think he is lying and Republicans don't care.

Now after decades of drugs being taken, all of sudden because the former Senator Mitchell has some time on his hands so he went out and investigated. Low and behold, those guys were taking drugs developed by DuPont and Dow and Pfizer ... approved by the FDA except for guys making multi million dollars a year. Who did the FDA think was going to take those drugs? Follow this up with a book deal for Senator Mitchell, better than his Senate pay ... a tell-all about who was poking who with needles.

David Stern not to be out done .... since we are over the referees betting on games they were officiating ... has come out against mandatory drub testing. He does not want to fall behind baseball and football.

Congress not to be left out calls these athletic drug users in to testify about whose butt was getting stuck. See, Congress has so much time on its hands. Congress has done such a wonderful job what with the economy and the world that they feel they can add some value to the discussion. Congressman do you know the difference between a vegan and a vegetarian?

Why does Congress think this is so important? Well, think back. Do you argue about and worry whether LeBaron is or will be better than Michael? Do you drink yourself silly because your a Knicks fan and life sucks? Do more of most of your sentences contain the phrase ... Da Bears? Are you still arguing about the need for your community to spend $500 Million Dollars to provide a new home for your "fill in the blank" team so they can be really competitive? Do you think the salary cap inhibits your team ... do you understand the math of the luxury tax which is imposed upon salary cap violations? Are you a sorry sad person person because year after year after year the Cubs disappoint you? Well for this last category we do feel your pain.

Not only do we have Congress wasting taxpayer dollars but Television and Radio will help you think that it is important. Next you will be saying its fine that they take drugs because they are nice guys. On the other hand, if they are movie stars or musicians ... well it goes with the territory and what if they die young ... just more fodder for People Magazine.

Can you quote batting averages? Is the first section of the paper you read the Sports Section? Are you paying extra so you can watch each and every football game regardless of where you live? Do you subscribe to the NBA station so you can stay up till 4:00 am watching every game that you taped? Are you having sports news streamed to your phone?

Teachers are underpaid but athletes ... even the so-so ones who are still good but at the bottom of the pro level still make hundreds of thousands of dollars and maybe millions . We are falling behind in math and science. Yet, colleges are spending millions for stadiums and athletic scholarships. Why do this? So they can have bragging rights to whose bigger and badder and number one. Anyone see the latest magazine listing for best schools? How good was the sports team did not figure into the calculation. I have heard from one or two sports enthusiast that having a number one football team will encourage those math and science majors to attend that college because everyone wants to be associated with #1 and therefore all that money will result in a better school. Sports logic at it finest. Babson College with no sports teams is rated in the top five Business Schools.

Basketball people will tell you with pride about the recent trade where to make things work out ... a retired player was given $4,000,000. The money to the retired player who will not play made the deal Kosher. Any problem with that? Another team is going to give money to an unpaid coach of rival team ... to make a trade work. David Stern where did you learn this math?

Sports nuts need to relegated to the position they deserve. Right next to individuals who are wondering whether Jennifer is going to get even with Angeline and how will Britney deal with her visitation issues.

Sports nuts ... we recognize that your life leads little to be proud of ... your inability to carry on a conversation about art, literature, and true issues facing our society. Why you might even talk to your kids about something besides how they are doing in gym.

Maybe you have it right. Bury yourself in trivia and when you want to come up for air ... well, you can worry about who will be the next American Idol or who is getting kicked off the island.