Sunday, May 17, 2009

Why Do We Do It Time and Time Again

They tell you ... and by they you know who they are ... they say that exercise is good for you. They tell you that you should get out in the fresh air, out from behind the computer screen. It is better for you. Who says this? The people sitting at their computer screens writing "how to live a better life" articles for other people who are locked to their computer screens waiting for the "experts" to tell you how to live a better life.

What they forget to tell you is that participating in those outdoor athletics can confront you with a serious problem. Serious is the time you are participating and they begin to keep score. Keeping score is the evil devil that accompanies sports.

Now I am not talking about professional sports where scores are merely the ways the bookies can tell you how much money you lost when you misunderstood "the spread". Or fantasy sports where you make up a team that does not exist to compete against another person's pretend team in a contest that only takes place in the netherworld of the internet. Fantasy sports was developed by professional sports empire as another way to suck you into their pretend it is important world ... the world for the bored sports nuts who can not figure out any more sports to follow while sitting in front of their computer.

Okay ... old man get to the point already.

Went golfing this afternoon. A pleasant sport. You only compete against yourself. Who said you are your own best friend? I can tell you that the person espousing this insane philosophy was obviously sitting in front of his/her computer screen and not doing anything physical other than typing.

You stand there ... towering over a little ball ... usually white but can come in cute pink, yellow or other cute colors ... with cute dimples ... you have that long metal stick with a club the size of a huge hitting area ... and there in front of you is a big wide open green field. Take the club head back straight, bring it back to where you started and hit that dam white dimpled ball. Where did it go? In the woods, in the sand, in the water ... yes, anywhere but that big wide open field.

Well, enough ... you are not your own best friend because your best friend would let you win occasionally ... would let you feel good about yourself.

Simple ... golf is an easy way to prove to yourself that you are less than ... and that little white dimpled ball ... its laughing at you except when you hit in the water to make it stop giggling. But, I will be back tomorrow and I will strike that dam ball and make it my servant ... or I will hide my head once again.

No comments: