Sunday, November 30, 2008

What is That Sound

Its quiet. Strange quiet. I don't mean that there is silence. I am not referring to sounds of silence, hello darkness my old friend ... silence. Its just quiet.

There is the sound of the dog slubbering. There is sound of the dishwasher churning cleaning the weekend dishes. The washing machine is cleansing the mountain of towels used these last four days. The TV is going and yet there is quiet.

How can that be?

There is no one home except of course the person being me writing these words.

So, how can it be ... that the quiet is strange.

It should be quiet. I have been home alone before and it was not strange.

Why this time?

One wife, four sons, one daughter-in-law ... and one grandson. They were here and now there gone. Not gone like no longer no this planet. They are still of this plane of existence, just not physically here.

There was a time, when the rumor was that I cherished these moments. A certain individual used to comment that I was happiest at these moments. It might have seemed like that to an outsider, to someone that was projecting what it might have appeared from a different angle. It was not true.

But this time, it is clear ... the silence is different this time.

From Wednesday night to Sunday morning there were sounds ... voices, discussion, arguing, baby crying, baby laughing, camera flashing ... refigerator door opening, closing, opening, chewing and more chewing ... lots of food being take from packages to plates to mouth. And now, now of that ... quiet.

They are gone and it is quiet and I do not like it.

It should be loud and clear ... I want them here and I want them back. I do not like or want the quiet.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Science and More Rubbish

Life is funny. Not always in the ha ha that was a knee slapper funny. Just, you know, the kind of funny that when you hear it or read it you go ... that's weird in a funny way. So much there and it just keeps on coming.

Funniest stuff is still science, of course now that we have five minutes between elections. I mean what could be funnier than a bunch of people making stuff up based upon tests that they devise to prove what they want so they can get the scientists at the FDA to say ... yeah, that sounds good ... go make another billion and we will call our friends over at Medicare to help pay for it because it just sounds so good what with that test and all. Was that a sentence?

Well, Time Magazine's recent issue ... is Time too liberal for you? ... had Medicine and Health Care as its central theme. I capitalize Medicine and Health Care because people realize that they are a mystery. There is a myth, well I believe it is a myth, that if you take proper care of yourself, eat right, exercise regularly ... you will live longer. Seems to sound reasonable. We know it must be true because 2/3 or for you statisticians ... 66 2/3% of the U.S. population are either obese or just plain fat or otherwise overweight. Combine that with are desire to be pompous and self righteous, topped off with our vast overspending on medical care and Americans do not live as long as the Japanese, Swiss, the Australians, Canadians, French, Italians, Germans, Norwegians and the Brits. Why we barely live longer than the Panamanians. Now it is clear that must certainly take better care of ourselves than the French and Italians and the Brits ... well we outspend them so why shouldn't we live longer.

But that is not the point, except that how are the 1/3 who are not overweight and all those anorexic teens going to feel? Remember your grade point. Yes, way back when life was simple and you knew where you stood because at the end of sixteen weeks someone gave you a grade so you knew exactly how much you had not studied. Remember all those living room lectures about pulling your grade point up? Well, think about it. If you fool around for three of the four years you are in high school or college, what must your grade point be in your senior year to give you a nice 3.5 for graduation? So, how must those 1/3 feel? Look at the effort they must undertake to bring the average up to a respectable 10th place. How can 10th place be respectable unless you really need to build your self esteem. Do they only get to live as long as the other 2/3? So, why should you starve yourself if you have the same end as the obese ... have an extra scoop of ice cream. Finally on this point, those obnoxious people drinking diet soda which is only dirty water, eating their no calories artificially flavored soy ... they are so rude, pompous and so full of themselves that it would not be fair if they lived longer.

Is there a point here? Yes, I think so.

Scientists have decided that there are no more big issues to solve so they been studying whether or not your DNA fixes your destiny. Are you predisposed based upon the genes that your parents dumped on you to be say obnoxious or shy or rude or to say silly things at dinner parties ... is it your grandparents fault that you interrupt other peoples conversations to point out the silly position they are taking on important issues? Well after exhaustive tests ... scientists who received large government grants to figure this out have created tests running over several years and meetings in exotic places like Omaha and Boise ... yes your DNA forces you to be who you will be.

Except. I was going to say "but" because that is the normal featured word here but we will use "except". Seems there is another group who got money more large amounts from the government, yes the same government that is currently $11 Trillion in debt. These science types after many tests and blind studies and their own exotic meeting in Des Moines and Buffalo, that you can overcome your DNA by hard work and determination and depending upon who you hang out with at the water cooler or the bowling alley. There is hope that you can overcome the legacy your parents stuck you with if you are determined.

So who is right in this DNA or environment argument? Your right and your right.

If you want to know the answer ... have children. As they are growing up, your spouse will point out where your DNA is screwing up your children because they are taking after all your dumb habits. If they are now brilliant, hard working then of course her environmental efforts to provide them with a positive role model and the correct ecosystem have saved the day. As you child does things that unfortunately remind you of your bad habits ... go out and find them hard working industrious friends.

The big question ... since this question was answered clearly maybe three four thousand years ago. Yaakov became a hard working industrious leader of a nation while his twin brother Esau went out and became a bum with a dozen sons heading many nations. One book smart, one a hunter ... same parents ... different kids.

Why are we wasting money when there are real problems to solve and besides what will you do with the information once you learn that it is both DNA and environment?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Knock ... Knock

Sitting there ... reading a book ... it is quiet. The only sound in the background is the fan going around and around. A clicking sound every few times around. It is not really annoying, background almost non sound. You hardly notice it. The only reason to mention it is to remind yourself how quiet it is.

Sitting on a very comfortable chair, it would be hard to get up ... if there was reason. Not much reason, the chair is a perfect reading chair, allows your feet to be up, can lean back but not so far that you would fall asleep, although you have been known to doze for an extended period on this particular chair. The book is better than good. You have read this author before and his previous books were hard to put it down. This one is starting out just as good. He writes a real pager turner. Why would you have to get off the chair when right there within a easy reach is a glass of scotch, your favorite. Who could ask for more.

All this is nice except for one small ever so small draw back. You know that you are the last man on Earth. Now this is not like your the last sane man or the last comic standing or the last Democrat or the last Republican or the last Jew. No you are the last man on Earth. You have done the research and its true.

Knock ... knock ... there is a knock at the door.

Can't be ... you are the last man on earth, must be the wind or your imagination.

Knock ... knock.

It was a knock. You heard it. It was a knock. You know what a knock sounds like. You are not so old or long alone that you can not remember what a knock sounds like. It was a knock.

So, you get up ... slow at first and then a little faster ... but with caution. You are certainly nervous being as you are the last man on earth.

Your hand goes to the door handle. Turning the knob, the door is opened ... mmm ... no one is there. Stepping outside ... maybe the knocker walked away just going from house to house knocking ... looking. So, you walk out of the yard ... go through the gate. Looking up and down the road. No one. No sign of life in either direction. Walk to the corner, its only two houses away, down the side streets ... no movement, no knocker. You stand there for a moment ... two moments ... five moments. No one.

You head back for that comfortable chair and the scotch and the book. It was your imagination. Forget it, you are the last man on earth.

Wait, there is a note taped to your door. It was not there before. You didn't leave it there to remind yourself to take out the garbage. Reaching for the note there is nervousness, your throat goes a little dry, your hand shakes ever so as it reaches the note.

Open it fool ... it could be life changing.

You open it and read ... being the last man on Earth.

The note is written clearly, large print, hand written ... you know the hand writing.

REMEMBER TO PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN ... the note reads ... YOU MAY BE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH BUT THE TOILET SEAT MUST BE LEFT DOWN WHEN YOUR DONE!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mom and Dad Are Going To Take a Nap

This just in ... (you can't make this stuff up)

TEXAS PASTOR TO ISSUE 7-DAY SEX CHALLENGE

Associated Press ... Wednesday, November 12, 2008

DALLAS — The pastor of a megachurch says he will challenge married congregants during his sermon Sunday to have sex for seven straight days — and he plans to practice what he preaches. “We’re going to give it a try,” said the Rev. Ed Young, who has four children with his wife of 26 years.

Young, 47, said he believes society promotes promiscuity and he wants to reclaim sex for married couples. Sex should be a nurturing, spiritual act that strengthens marriages, he said. “God says sex should be between a married man and a woman,” Young said. “I think it’s one of the greatest things you can do for your kids because so goes the marriage, so goes the family.”

Young said he will deliver his seven-day sex challenge while sitting on a bed in front of his Dallas-area church campus.

He is founder of the nondenominational Fellowship Church, which draws about 20,000 people each Sunday and also has campuses in Fort Worth, Plano and Miami.

===============================
LOVE HANDLES RAISE THE DEATH RISK

Carrying extra fat around your middle dramatically increases your risk of early death, even if your overall weight is normal, say researchers.

A study of almost 360,000 people from nine European countries found waist size a "powerful indicator" of risk. Each extra 2ins (5cm) raised the chance of early death by between 13% and 17%.

The New England Journal of Medicine study stressed GPs should regularly measure patients' waists as a cheap and easy way to assess health. It costs virtually nothing to measure your hip and waist size

Professor Elio Riboli of the Imperial College London said ... The link between waist fat and health problems has been established for some time, but the sheer size of the study gives scientists a far more accurate picture.

The researchers, including some from Imperial College London, followed the volunteers, who were an average of 51 years old at the start of the study, for the next 10 years, during which time 14,723 of them died.

The standard measure of obesity, body mass index (BMI) remained a reasonable predictor of health problems, with those with a high reading more likely to die from cardiovascular disease or cancer.

However, the 'hip/waist ratio', a number produced by dividing the waist size by the hip measurement, and just the waist measurement on its own, were both good ways of sorting out those at highest risk.

=========

So the bottom line ... if your married and only if you are married ... and well you know what I mean .... read my lips ... you should have as much sex as they had on Sex In The City and they do on Californication in fact it is well documented in my mind that married sex can cure most ailments ... but when your making love ... remember not get a handle ... no handles on your love ... because that could reduce the time you have for making love ... make love not handles ...

Imagine ... the above reporters could have been writing about Sarah Palin at the Governors conference looking forward to 2012 ... sex yes ... 2012 no.

And The Beat Goes On

I begged ...I prayed ... I wrote on and on ... I spoke with any number of people ... some would even actually listen and many who would have rather that I shut up but it did not change the situation. My prayers were not heard. The pain has not stopped. Each morning I wake up ... I look at the online news ... and its still there ... it will not go away ... what is the matter with people? Does America have such limited imagination? You would think we would be embarrassed when we, America, is at the world parties and we can not change the subject. Can they think of nothing else to do?

There is some imagination out there ... maybe not great writing ... no Aaron Sorkin but some imagination nonetheless. We now have a TV program to replace X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer if only something to replace Stargate and Star Trek and Twilight Zone and Outer Limits .... so we have Fringe and True Blood. A program about the science beyond science ... imagine that you science is the Lord folks there is science beyond your peanut imaginations ... even had an episode about communicating with the recently dead, seems you can actually talk to a dead person up to six hours after they are dead. Dead is not dead anymore, but its a program for me. Then there is True Blood, synthetic blood for sale at your local liquor store ... who said single malt was the top of the heap ... so vampires can come out of the closet and demand equal rights. Now of course you flaming liberals ... and you know who you are, so proud now that you are in power ... please don't blow it and give money to GM, Ford and Chrysler so they can build more pick-up trucks .... some would say this program is just a cover story for gays coming out ... I will tell you that comparing gays and vampires not only stretches the mind farther than play dough or a slinky could ever go but some would say its an insult to one of those groups ... it is doing well. So, there are some people with imagination. (this has been a paid advertisement .. well I would like it be paid ... to the producers of these enlightened shows ... I am waiting for your check).

So what is the problem with the rest of you?

Ten days ago we had the culminating party for twenty four months of non stop presidential campaigning. Too many primaries and caucuses, too many debates, too many television commercials, too many news programs dedicated to the color of tie or who can text faster or who even knew what texting was or the dress being worn ... just too much. The baseball season which goes on forever is not even this long. Alas, I thought for a brief moment ... a nano micro second ... a blink of the eye ... that the campaign story was over for a little while. I mean let the president elect become the president before someone begins campaigning for the job. I mean the next presidential election is not for four ... count them ... four ... say it out loud ... four ... look at your fingers and put the number up in the air .... four ... repeat it that number of times ... four ... write it on a sheet of paper in big print ... four ... type it on your computer in 48 point font ... four .... correct it will be four years until the next election.

It would be nice to allow the new president some time to actually govern before he has to begin running again. It is said that it that it takes a new administration almost a year to appoint and have approved all of the political appointees to run the government. So, take away one year ... the last year is devoted to getting re-elected ... take away another year. You are left with at most two years of governing.

Sarah Palin ... like her or not has already begun running for the 2012 presidential nomination. During eights weeks of being the Republican nominee for vice-president she had one debate and five press conferences or direct meetings with a journalist. Yes, Katie Couric is a journalist even if she can not write. Since the fateful Tuesday where she and her running mate got their butt handed to them, she has given 96 interviews with reporters. Count them ... 96 in 9 days. At this rate by November 2012 she will have given 14,000 interviews. She will be searching out bloggers like me with a readership of 6 to give an interview.

As an aside because that might have caught your attention in the midst of numbers, yes I think I might have 6 readers. Seems I got a "nice job" from a second non family member and this one may even be a real person. Who would have thought that I could get to 6? Who knows might even get to double digits in the next two years! Sarah, I will be ready for your interview soon.

Is Sarah worried that she could go the way of John Edwards, Lloyd Bensten, Thomas Eagleton or Sargent Shriver? Go look them up ... history is crucial or did you forget so quickly. Sarah should particularly remember Senator Eagleton ... there may be some real common points. Does she think that Tina Fey will forget her?

It is the fault of the press of course. It is always the press' fault you say. The press corp has the attention span of a mosquito ... no offense to the mosquitoes out there ... because the public has a shorter attention span. We need to keep looking past the here and now to the next exciting thought or the hope that despite this current morbid thought the next one will be better, more exciting, more fascinating ... but alas ... we settle for the lowest common denominator for our leaders and television shows ... potential leaders ... men who sell their soles and principles for nominations ... a man who could not have invented the Internet because he did not even know it was there ... parties who nominate a man with -0- experience who campaign of the concept of change alone as if change is automatically a good thing unless of course you are running after eight years of W and then I guess any change would appear to be a good thing but change to what? A man whose campaign was so far to the left Ralph Nadar did not have room to move ... and whose campaign is now being characterized as in the "center". Attention span issues.

So, I am begging for a moratorium of 24 to 30 months before the press can write a "2012" story. Write to your newspaper and beg them for articles on something else ... please I am begging you!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

History Teachs Us What?

History is the branch of knowledge that records and analyzes past event. The past events relating to a particular thing. The aggregate of past events or human affairs.
This is sad ... not really funny ... if you have an answer how to solve the problem ... please educate a friend ...

How much history do you know? Can you remember what you ate for breakfast yesterday? How about three weeks ago Tuesday? Where were you on September 10, 2001? Correct ... not the tragic 9/11/01 but the day before ... where were you? Who was the opponent candidate against John F. Kennedy? Who ran against Truman? What war came before World War I? What was the first series where Clint Eastwood appeared on a regular basis?

Simple questions ... not hard if you know some history.

I am not talking about knowing the lines of every Simpson episode or every Kevin Smith movie. This task can be accomplish by people with the ability to count cards or look at a pile of paper clips and tell you the exact number.

While recently discussing the recent election, with a person of some considerable knowledge. We spoke about religion and candidates of a particular religion running for presidency. He could not remember where he was when Kennedy was shot, nor could he remember where is was when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon ... he was not even a idea for his parents.

We spoke about blacks in political office ... a very current topic. He was not aware that with Obama winning the election ... you remember that election ... well depending upon the Illinois Governor ... there will be -0- black senators. Yes, with all the jubilation about breaking glass ceilings ... the Senate is substantially a white male club with a few women thrown in just to make the place smell better. Yes, Barbara Boxer and Diane Feinstein are window dressing.

We spoke about how this is Christian country except if your Catholic. Seems a Catholic running for president is a problem for some people. So skipping over that John Kerry character, we talked about JFK and how he faced the abortion issue. I could not remember if it was even an issue but then I was in sixth grade. I mentioned that JFK was not the first Catholic to run for the high office of president. I said there was Al Smith.

Who is Al Smith?

He was the Democratic presidential candidate in 1928 and lost to Herbert Hoover, tried for the nomination in 1932 but lost that to his protégé FDR, as a Democrat mad at FDR he went on to support Republican Alf Landon in 1936 and Wendell Wilkie in1940. Al was a devout Catholic and could not get elected because in part he was Catholic.

How can you not know who Al Smith was?

History is important ... why not take some time out of watching YouTube videos and read some history.


Friday, November 7, 2008

I Apologize

I just looked at my posts ... they are all long and rambling. I apologize ... when I start with all intentions of being short and direct and with distraction ... just get to the point already ... well it keeps moving away from me and there are other things or more things to add.

So sorry but I am what I am.

Oh, I do not really apologize because that would presume I did not really intend to write so long.